The Girl Who Didn’t Fit In

My parents seemed to love going to church. I myself enjoyed the children’s and youth classes, but when the last bell sounded I was ready to go home. My parents, however… not so much. Between their responsibilities to teach and minister and their love to talk with fellow members of the congregation, we were often the last family to leave. One particular Sunday we had been told it was nearly time to go. We gathered together in the hallway near where our parents were visiting. All five of my siblings and I were standing in the hallway next to one another in a long line to allow others to pass by when an overzealous older lady friend of my parents turned the corner into the hallway.
“Roger! Linda!” She gasped in excitement. “Are these your daughters?!”
She began at the opposite end of the ‘line’  from me and one by one playfully pinched the cheeks of all of my sisters.
As she walked from one to another she was giddy with compliment saying, “Everyone as beautiful as the next and as beautiful as their mother.”
Then she got to me. I was the last sister in line. From my blondish hair to my over-sized feet and everything in between, I looked different from my sisters. She stood squarely in front of me, studied me for a moment, looked down the line at my sisters and then turned to my parents and asked “Now… Is this one yours?”

The words stung. She asked a simple question; my insecure heart heard her say that I wasn’t as beautiful as my sisters- that I was the other one. Perhaps I was too tall, too plain, too blonde,  or just altogether too different…The adversary had victory over me that day as I allowed myself to feel dejected and ugly and that I didn’t belong in my own family. This stranger’s words seemed to pierce my inner being. Truly my own quiet thoughts had led me to doubt that I was pretty, my ornery personality often made me feel like I didn’t fit in with my sisters but never before had it been said by someone else…

It wasn’t my own sin that made me feel the depths of despair. But I felt a burden of great intensity. I felt insufficient. I was beginning to wonder if there was potentially a divide between those who had the capacity to learn of Christ and act of Christ, even believe in Christ and those who didn’t. Was I too different from my sisters to progress spiritually like them? I had always felt different; even a bit of a misfit in my own family. That particular day…I felt too different. It seemed that I had more doubts and fears than faith…

-JC

As I reflect on this experience today, I ask myself:
Am I often distracted from thoughts of Christ?
Do my distractions cause stumbling blocks towards my spiritual progression?

S’mores Cookies

½ cup soft butter
½ cup granulated sugar
⅓ cup packed brown sugar
1 XL egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Cream butter and sugars with an electric mixer on medium-high for 1 minute or until fluffy.

Hand stir in egg and vanilla; don’t overmix.

Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 1 Tablespoon more flour for high elevation.

Scoop out approximately 16 1.5” balls of dough.  Gently roll. For a richer flavor and smoother texture, form cookie dough balls, flatten slightly, and refrigerate or freeze until ready to bake. Place on greased or parchment paper on an aluminum cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 min.

Slice 8 Campfire Giant Roaster size marshmallows in half.  (If you can’t find Campfire’s Giant Roaster marshmallows, cut a large marshmallow in half, using both halves.)

Place the cut half down on the center of each baked cookie.

 Return to the oven on the Broil setting for just 30 seconds or until tops are toasty.  Place 1/4 of a 1.55 oz. Hershey Bar in the center of each toasted marshmallow, slightly pressing down.  

Let set. Share!