Patience In My Obstinance

The wintery weather of 1991 was rough in the mountain valley town we lived in. Perhaps it was a typical winter as per the almanac… perhaps it was only seemingly especially rough because our car had a hitch in it’s ‘giddy-up’.

Every morning, mid-day or evening as we left our rented apartment, we would be hopeful, even prayerful that the car would start.  
It never did… at least not with a simple turn of a key.  
There were two people needed each with distinct jobs required in starting the car. One person needed to sit in the driver’s seat, and as momentum built, pop the clutch in the perfect moment and turn the key, then skillfully respond to the momentum built from the car descending down a snowy icy residential hilly street. 

The other person had the job of pushing the car with enough strength and speed to allow it to gain momentum to coast down the hilly street, all while digging their feet into the snowy icy hilly street as to not lose one’s footing and end up face down.
I took the pushing job. It was in my wheelhouse of knowing what to do. Navigating my footing on snow and ice was perfected as I attempted to sprint on my paper route as a kid in southwest Iowa- no matter what the weather. So I claimed my job and ignored Whit’s attempts to convince me otherwise.

Nevertheless, Whit tirelessly attempted to convince me each day for months I could do the “driver’s seat” job. I refused to try. The liability of his parents’ car sailing down the city street and my fear of not timing the engine start correctly was too risky in my mind. And as two full-time students trying to make ends meet on my waitressing tips, we needed a car to get to school and work. Thus it was obvious to me we take fewer risks and go with what we knew.

Whit adamantly disagreed. Perhaps it had everything to do with me being six months pregnant with our first child…
Nevertheless, I am obstinate and patient in my obstinance.  
Every departure from our apartment began with the same conversation and ended with the same result. Whit would try and convince me to sit in the driver’s seat… Without a word, I took my rightful position at the trunk of the car and wouldn’t budge. I waited out his lame attempt to convince me to do something other than push the car down the hill.  
The truth is, we made it through! Each departure had me pushing the car down the hill and sprinting to catch up and jump in the passenger side.
I remember never feeling anything but grateful that we had a loaner car from his parents. And-I remember feeling an inner competition to see if I could jump in the passenger seat a little quicker and a bit more “Dukes of Hazard -ish” each time.

I often flashback to this season of my life where I tried to acquire an attitude of gratitude. Perhaps sometimes God intervenes and brings it to my remembrance, and perhaps sometimes my own conscience works to not forget…
I’m grateful I remember. Sometimes I let self-pity fill my thoughts as I ponder the blessings I wish I had. And then I remember:
Who I am…
Who I want to be… 
What I want to represent…
Even- Who I want to represent…

Focusing on my invisible problems is a life void of discipleship of Christ. So my perspective shifts and my actions follow. I fail…And I try again. Some days, I remember my red cold nose staring back at me in the visor mirror, mascara smeared from cold watery eyes- and the girl- dressed in her waitress uniform offering up a silent prayer of gratitude for the safe, warm, transportation and a plea that restaurant patrons will be generous enough with tips to cover the rent payment…

-JC

Black & White Sugar Cookies

Make a batch of Vanilla Sugar Cookies

1 cup soft butter
½  cup vegetable oil
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
1 ¼ cups powdered sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon clear vanilla
3 ⅔ cups all-purpose flour
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt

Cream butter, oil  and sugars with an electric mixer on medium-high for 1 minute or until well blended. Hand stir in eggs and vanilla; don’t overmix. Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 2-3 Tablespoons more flour for high elevation. Scoop out approximately 36 -1 1/4” balls of dough.  

Make a batch of Chocolate Sugar Cookies

1 cup soft butter
½  cup vegetable oil
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
1 ¼ cups powdered sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup dark cocoa
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt

Cream butter, oil  and sugars with an electric mixer on medium-high for 1 minute or until well blended. Hand stir in eggs and vanilla; don’t overmix. Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 2-3 Tablespoons more flour for high elevation. Scoop out approximately 36 -1 1/4” balls of dough.  

Marble cookies by placing  a disc of Vanilla Sugar Cookie on top of a disc of Chocolate Sugar Cookie. Break into half, length-wise and place one half on top of the other. Flatten slightly.  You now have four layers of alternating flavors. Break and stack again. Roll into balls. For a richer flavor and smoother texture, form cookie dough balls, flatten slightly and refrigerate or freeze until ready to bake. Place on greased or parchment paper on an aluminum cookie sheet.  
Bake at 350 degrees for 12+  min. Cool. Drizzle with Chocolate Ganache, or melted Dark Chocolate Hershey bar. Let set. Share!

Chocolate Ganache

2/3 cups whipping cream
1 cup chocolate chips
Heat on low whisking constantly. Cool slightly until ready to use.


-JC