The Road That Leads Me Home…

I’m still trying to figure “it” out… 

The past several years are filled with countless failed attempts… And yet each day is part of the story I write for myself- through choice.

A few months ago I returned to Richland, Washington. It’s the place we lived and raised our family for 20 years. I saw many familiar faces and reconnected with dear friends and family. The week was packed with people I love and experiences I hope to not soon forget. I was blessed to experience meaningful mixed with seemingly meaningless long talks well into the night, cartwheeling off the boat dock of a lake with amazing women (despite the minimal coordination I have left), giggles of delight from nieces and nephews playing with our dog, proudly observing personal progression of loved ones and the peace and joy it brings, the best pedicure with the best people, and attending church… Where I once grew in my own testimony, and my family came to worship each week as they grew in their own.

Along the roads in this town, I reminisced of the years where I tasked imperfectly… Loved imperfectly… And grew imperfectly as a mother and as a steward in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I delighted in assignments to help in my church congregation and teaching strong youth sent to earth in these days as we near the second coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I feel like I was able to have a glimpse of this next generation as their loving Father in Heaven sees them- as warriors who fought with great strength for the opportunity to come to earth and are now fighting to understand their Heavenly Father‘s love and their purpose in His plan. 

Nothing- and yet everything was perfect… It was home…

Years later as I drove through familiar streets that had since experienced new growth, I reflected on where my journey has taken me, and how I fit into God’s plan… 

My recent roads have led me to being blessed to meet amazing new friends and strengthen family bonds that were more like casual acquaintances than cherished loved ones. I’ve had opportunities to serve, love, and grow in my discipleship of Christ. I’ve felt loved and welcomed and trusted with friendship.

And yet, with another new zip code change- I sit amongst my “stuff”. My furniture, clothes, and knick-knacks are in different rooms with different configurations. I am the same person but I often feel misplaced… I’ve tried to invest my heart and soul in creating a home where all feel welcome and yet I often feel like a stranger here…

Some say “Home is where the heart is…”

My heart and purpose feel a bit lost…

So how do I let go of my own expectations and seemingly clouded visions for my future and learn how to help my heart find the road that leads me home? How do I find the strength to fight like the warrior I know I am as a daughter of God? How do I proceed with authenticity in trying to connect to my spiritual knowledge of home…?

I’m still trying to figure it out… And yet I believe I know how to… The feeling is familiar…

Perhaps I am at yet another crossroads of faith. Some have questioned my decisions. I’ve questioned them myself… But I know where that path leads… Doubts, fears, and frustrations are some of the adversary’s favorite tools. 

If I slow and observe the world around me, I see many walking the paths Christ walked, serving and loving as He did…Teaching of His ways in word and deed…And stepping in faith allowing the enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to provide a way home.

As I seek Him, I find motivation-    
– To search for eternal perspective in my purpose.

-To try a little harder to trust in God’s plan for me.    

-To not quit or give up when times get tough and pleas for specific blessings seem to go unanswered.    

-To keep working, keep believing, keep walking in faith.     

-To recognize that God is there. He is certainly there. He is here.    

 -And He sends a host of angels to cheer me on! 

In and through choosing Christ, my Savior, – is strength… and healing… Even for my heart still searching for the perfectly imperfect road that leads me home.

-JC

S’mores Brookie Cookies

Make a batch of S’mores Cookies
½ cup soft butter
½ cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 XL egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Cream butter and sugars with an electric mixer on medium high for 1 minute or until fluffy. Hand stir in egg and vanilla; don’t overmix. Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 1 Tablespoon more flour for high elevation. Scoop out 18 1¼ “ balls of dough. Roll them into balls. Flatten slightly.

Make a batch of Brownie Cookies
1 -18 oz. brownie mix
¼ cup all-purpose flour
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 eggs

Mix together brownie mix, flour, oil and eggs until thoroughly combined. 
Scoop out 18 1¼” balls of dough. Roll them into balls. Flatten slightly.


Place a disc of S’mores Cookie dough directly onto a disc of Brownie Cookie.  Bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes. Remove from oven and place a slice of Campfire Giant size marshmallow on top of cookie.  (I cut each campfire marshmallow into three circular discs.) Return to oven for 2 minutes. Remove and immediately gently press ¼ of a 1.55 oz. Hershey bar on top. 
Let set. Share!

-JC