An Unconquerable Spirit

I have an inch-long scar on my chin…
With each rise and fall, I was desperately trying to hold on with all my might. I was determined to not let go despite feeling like a helpless ragdoll flailing without strength.
I told myself to keep trying, keep enduring…
However, I was outmatched by size, strength, and experience. 
On what proved to be my final attempt, I lost my grip and bounced- hard and fast on the seat and then to the concrete playground. 

I was 5…
It was one of my first opportunities for recess as a Kindergartner and I accepted an invitation from a fellow classmate to teeter-totter with her. 
Little did I know, the seemingly harmless mount onto the metal limb would land me in the emergency room.
I laid on a hard metal table- alone. A smelly washcloth was placed over my face. The last thing I remember was someone saying “Jackie… just close your eyes…”

I must’ve quit fighting sleep as the next thing I remember was the feeling of a bulky bandage on my chin and Mom trying to explain to me what stitches were and how I wouldn’t be able to get them wet for two weeks. 
A few days later, I weakly smiled on class picture day wearing my black and white jumper with my hair brushed nicely and pulled up in a partial ponytail with a thin red ribbon and a flesh-colored bandaid on my chin- forever documenting my weakness- my inability to hold on…

I wanted to be an unconquerable spirit. I always wanted to be stronger, faster, smarter, and just plain better… I feel like those feelings have plagued me and motivated me my entire life. 
I’ve wasted energy and efforts in life trying to climb life’s mountains on my own.
I’ve stressed about circumstances out of my control. 
I’ve spent time being angry and slow to forgive. I’ve wavered in faith with God’s will and His timeline for me.
I’ve cried – mourning the heartaches felt by myself and loved ones.
I’ve felt like anything and everything EXCEPT an unconquerable spirit. 

And now- nearly 50 years into my life’s journey- I think I’ve figured out just how to conquer anything. 
I realize I am nothing…
…Without my Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I have no determination, toughness nor desire to persist. 
However- In and through Him I find strength and energy to conquer fears, weaknesses, and temptations to quit…
Without Him…
I 
Am
Nothing…

A true unconquerable spirit doesn’t quit-
She knows with certainty her grip will falter. 
She will fall.
And yet-
She keeps trusting, keeps believing, and keeps fighting with Christ as her source of power, faith, and unwavering strength. 

On my own, I can’t hold on…
Being strengthened In and through Christ and the enabling power available through His Atonement, I WILL hold on…becoming unconquerable through Him…

-JC

Coconut Cream Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookies

1 cup soft butter
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 1/4 cups powdered sugar
2 XL eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup cocoa (I use Hershey’s dark)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cream butter, oil  and sugars with an electric mixer on medium-high for 1 minute or until well blended. Hand stir in eggs and vanilla; don’t overmix. Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 2-3 Tablespoons more flour for high elevation. Scoop out approximately 24+ 2” balls of dough.  For a richer flavor and smoother texture, form cookie dough balls, flatten slightly and refrigerate or freeze until ready to bake. Place on greased or parchment paper on an aluminum cookie sheet.  

Bake at 350 degrees for 12+  min. Cool. Frost with Coconut Cream Frosting. Top generously with sweetened flaked coconut.  Let set. Share!

Coconut Cream Frosting

8 oz. softened cream cheese
1/4 cup soft butter
1/4 cup cream of coconut (Coco Re’al brand works great)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon coconut extract
2 cups powdered sugar

Mix cream cheese, butter and cream of coconut until smooth. Add vanilla, coconut extract, and powdered sugar. Mix until fluffy. Spoon into a freezer strength Ziploc until ready to use.