“…Ride the carousel for me…”

The Arizona sky is often bright blue with brilliant sunshine.
Clouds are not common.
After living in climates of cold, wind, and chill, I don’t hate it.

This afternoon, the sky was atypically filled with clouds and I had a short- “must do today” list. I lingered on my back patio and momentarily stared into the clouds which quickly took me back to memories as a kid in southwest Iowa where I would do the same. I never understood why my sister or friend couldn’t see what was obviously drawn in the clouds right above us.

Today, I saw a carousel horse with its legs extended in stride as though it was freely running through the sky…
It took me back to a memory of my Grammy.
It was a season where she was older and slowing down a bit in life.
We were temporarily living out East and therefore were blessed to be able to visit her often.
I had only ever met her a few times growing up, but new proximity had rewritten the opportunity for a relationship.

She was an amazing woman. She made the most delicious homemade meals without making it seem like a fuss, telling me incidents of her life and asking about mine.
One evening as we were getting ready to leave I had mentioned that I was planning to take the boys to an amusement park.
She paused. Her gaze took her to a memory she opted not to share.
“That’s wonderful….
Ride the carousel for me….”

Her words seemed profound and filled with wisdom. It’s difficult to explain.
I’ve pondered on them so many times. A carousel is a ride…
On a fiberglass or wooden horse….

Simple…Right?
But it’s where your mind can escape to -that becomes a memorable ride and journey. A birthplace of wonderment, freedom, and creativity.

Yet -it’s fleeting. As soon as the music wanes and the platform slows to a stop…
It’s over…
You dismount-
Exit… and are simply left with a memory-
Of the real or imagined ride on a horse…

It parallels much of my journey to understanding faith.

Much of what I see in life, it’s possible to make scientific sense of…
It’s literal- like the feel of the brilliantly painted manufactured horse simply turning circles in a fixed place.
But it’s the space and time of hope without proof that I can find a different truth.

In that faith- I feel like I can journey with peace, resolve, and joy.
I imagine a level of perfect love and happiness and feel empowered to make decisions that create it.

As I write this-
The carousel horse in the clouds has disappeared. Blue skies are prevalent…
And I’m simply left with my thoughts.

Choosing to only believe what I can prove is a choice.
Faith in things unseen yet hoped for is also a choice.
I choose the latter…
I choose hope…
Because that’s where I have perfect knowledge of my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.
That’s a “place” I want to “be” and literally put in the work to return to…

-JC

Caramel Apple Cookies

½ cup soft butter
2 Tablespoons oil
1 cup brown sugar
¼ cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
¾ cup apple butter
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Mix sugars with butter and oil on high speed for 3 minutes. Stir in eggs, vanilla,  and apple butter. Add dry ingredients all at once and stir until well combined. Scoop out 24  -2” balls of dough onto cookie sheets lined with parchment paper. Bake at 375 degrees for 12-14 minutes. Let cool completely. Top with a dollop of Caramel Sauce. Drizzle with melted white chocolate. Let set. Share!

Caramel Sauce
2 cups sugar
¾ cup soft butter
1 cup cream
1  teaspoon sea salt

Heat sugar in a saucepan on medium-low heat.  Stir every 30 seconds. Sugar will initially clump together and then melt and turn an amber color. After all the sugar pieces are melted, remove from heat. Stir in butter.  This mixture will splatter a bit until mixed in.  Stir in cream and salt.  Let cool until ready to use.