Back To the Battleground

A few weeks ago- I took a drive through the zip code I used to call home. 

I drove down my old neighborhood streets that looked less familiar than I figured they would. Trees had matured, slightly changing the view from my car window. There was definitely an air of familiarity and yet mostly in the memories that the drive evoked.

I love the town that was home to us for almost 2 years. I felt like we could build a future there, put down some roots, and find extended peace and happiness in living there. Memories flooded into my mind as I drove down familiar roads, and visited my favorite soup cafe and pie shop. At one point, I took a road headed the opposite direction towards my next task simply to enjoy the beautiful red rock adjacent to the highway. I was blessed to catch up with a few friends who were lifelines to me during our time there. I then braced myself and drove by Jess’ old high school.

I was reminded of the battle ground.

I remember dropping my daughter off for her first day at the new high school. I remember the nausea and inability to calm my beating heart. She was seemingly optimistic and I tried to borrow some of her positivity. The next set of memories is a blur. There was a lot of hard…
Many Invisible Goliaths lurked in those hallways, classrooms, and gymnasiums. There was isolation, loneliness and longing for home.

In the true form of any battleground- there was a battle. 
Jess fought to embrace the truths she had worked to gain with perfect knowledge that she was a Daughter of God- that He was aware of her and that she was right where He needed her to be at that time in her life. She worked to understand His perfect love for her.

I leaned on her beliefs at times as my heart broke during so many battles. 
Consistent, constant reprieve came as we visited the House of the Lord there. 
Angels ministered to us. Loneliness was replaced with unseen unwavering companionship. The hard seemed to have constant interruptions, documenting God’s perfect love. 

One far too quiet Sunday afternoon, Jess’ older brother arranged a video call. We missed attending family dinner each Sunday with all of the cousins, aunts and uncles. Bren was in Hawaii at college and had agreed to play a game with his little sister despite the miles and ocean that separated them. He dialed in and before long a competitive game ensued. 

I watched from the sofa just a few feet away, grateful for technology that was bridging a gap. It was a season where I tried my best to be a strength for Jess amidst being a shoulder to cry on and a sounding board to think with. It was exhausting as each day I felt like there was so much work involved just for me to remain optimistic – to remember how closely we felt God in the details of where we were. 

On this Sunday afternoon, I saw joy on the face of my daughter -true eternal joy. Her burdens had been lifted, perspective gained, and no doubt a victory claimed in between the roll of a few dice. 

Therein explains my love for that town. 

There were some tough times- but never did I feel betrayed by God for directing us there. We were blessed to meet amazing people and at the same time, we were entrusted with some epic battles of Invisible Goliaths. We were blessed with an armor of plentiful resources and buoyed up. 

Some of the hardest days I’ve experienced as a mom lay claim in that zip code and yet the place it has in my heart is a memory of God’s perfect love. Charity, hope, and faith grew in that zip code. Christ walked with us and we found His light in so many we met. 

At the close of my visit, I began the 3.5 hour drive north. As I glanced one last time in my rear view mirror, all I felt was love-
Love for this town, the people we were blessed to know, and the mountains we were entrusted to climb. The sun was descending into the western landscape, and I promised myself I would return soon to this sacred ground. I took some of my tiniest steps in faith, aided by my Savior, and was constantly uplifted by God’s angels- seen and unseen.

-JC

Gluten Free Peanut Butter Oatmeal Chocolate Chip

1 cup soft butter
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
5 cups gluten free oats (blended to powder form)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
4 ounces grated milk chocolate
2 cups milk chocolate baking chips

Cream butter and sugars with an electric mixer on medium high for 1 minute or until fluffy. Hand stir in eggs and vanilla extract; don’t over-mix. Add dry ingredients including grated chocolate all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 2-3 Tablespoons more flour for high elevation. Stir in baking chips. Scoop out approximately 24-  2” balls of dough. Gently roll. For a richer flavor and smoother texture, form cookie dough balls, flatten slightly, and refrigerate or freeze until ready to bake. Place on greased or parchment paper on an aluminum cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 10+ min. Drizzle with additional melted chocolate as desired. 

Let set. Share!