My hands were black, the line was long, and I looked back wondering if I should skip it…

I ran into DX gas station as fast as I had run my whole paper route. 

It was a once-a-week route delivering a free newspaper to every house in town. The route was divided between my sisters and me. Dinner would be cornbread and chili after we returned. I only kinda liked it. But I loved my DX treat I got each week. 

I ran in and quickly counted the people in line. This was rare. I usually ran it, grabbed my Nutty Buddy Little Debbie snack, put a quarter on the counter, uttered a barely audible “thank you” and ran out and home as quickly as I had run in. 

Today was different and I didn’t like it. As I stood in line with a quarter in one hand and my treat in the other, I had time to pause and reconsider my decision. Maybe this treat was a waste of money. I counted how much more quickly I could get to the red and white sweater I wanted if I skipped the treat. 

My hands were black from the newsprint, the line was still long, and I looked back toward the treat display wondering if I should skip it…

The red and white sweater was my current predetermined purchase. 
At this stage of my life, most of them were. Money was “spent on paper” well before it was earned. The few dollars I made each week on my paper route went towards the big purchase I was saving for.  

The usual agreement I made with myself was 25 cents for a treat, tithing- a portion for God that I would pay at church each Sunday, and the rest towards something I wanted that cost more than the few dollars I collected each week. Every time I’d go to the department store to finally purchase my item, I’d see so many more items I wanted to save towards. 

I thought about the sweater and my dirty hands. The discussion in my brain was silenced when the attendant called “next” and I stepped forward. I put my quarter on the counter, exchanged a glance, and left when she nodded that we were square in the transaction. Within seconds I unwrapped the treat and began enjoying it despite my filthy hands and my initial question as to whether it was worth the price of delaying my larger purchase. The creamy peanut butter layered with crisp wafers submerged in chocolate was super tasty and I had no regrets as I ran home.  

What about other costs?
Since a young age- I’ve always weighed the value of anything I purchase. Once I married, money was tight for years as my husband and I tried to raise our family on one salary. 
Costs were constantly weighed with value. 

What about the unseen costs today as I think and speak of change?
There’s a big concept here and an easy measuring stick to assess your own value system and the opportunity costs…
Be ready for some honesty as you hear this… 

What was the last thing you complained about?
Rethink the details. 
Here’s the truth-

When we complain- we are screaming to all within earshot that the price to do something different is too much, so we will complain instead. We are saying the opportunity cost for change in thinking or action is too great and therefore we will stay in our current thought or blame position. 

Ouch. I know- it hurts. I’ve been hurt by this truth so many times. 
So spend some effort assessing this week. 
What are you avoiding changing?
If you aren’t sure- track your complaints- even if the only voice they find is the one in your head. 
Is it hard to identify…?
Listen more intently this week to friends, family members, and co-workers. 
As you hear complaints from them, you have a direct window into their souls as to what’s going on in their world. You can immediately see what they deem too high of an opportunity cost for change…

A few years ago I would nearly daily complain about one of my kids’ basketball coaches. Straight away- he/she was terrible. That’s a fact. 😉
But- why the constant complaint on my part?
What opportunity cost was so great that I looked to complain- shifting the assignment in my life to something I didn’t want to do the work for…?
Gratefully I identified it then and worked to do my part-
Leave what was God’s to God and the responsibility of my child to them. 
But the truth is it was hard and I felt like the way this coach treated my child made my job as a mom harder. Every mom knows- the mom gig is hard- anything(one) making it harder might hit the complaint list…

However, the truth is constant. 
And here’s what I needed to do-
Pray to know what my immediate role was with my child. 
Were there things I could do at home to teach the importance of self-esteem and worth as a child of God? Was I consistent in teaching through voice and example faith in God’s purpose and love for each of us?
Was I keeping clarity, realizing it was not my responsibility to control any of this? 
My child had an opportunity for growth and testimony. 
It was not my responsibility to protect them in a way that this opportunity was denied. 

I had to let go-
Step back-
Steady my own faith-
And trust God. 

Many many many countless moments- I failed. 
And I would complain. 
And then I’d steady my purpose as a Mom raising God’s children and re-focus. 
Difficult. But not impossible. Because truly- Luke 1:37…

If you pause, and your hands seem tired, dirty, and rough, and you contemplate the cost-
Don’t quit. Just silence the clamor and work on one decision for clarity at a time. 
Then, like a kid unwrapping the one treat for the week- Enjoy the journey with any and all added light and knowledge you work to obtain. 

It is enough…

-JC

(Easy) Turtle Bars

½ cup butter
⅓ cup milk
15 oz. yellow cake mix
½ cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)
6 oz. caramel sauce
1 cup+ milk or semi-sweet chocolate chips (milk chocolate will be sweeter and richer)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix butter, milk, and cake mix until smooth. Stir in nuts if desired. Spread 2/3 of the mixture evenly over the bottom of an 8” square baking pan and press to form a crust. Bake for 10 minutes. Drizzle caramel sauce evenly over the cooked crust. Sprinkle it with chocolate chips. Pat together and form the remaining dough mixture on the top in pieces. Bake at 350 degrees for 18-20 minutes more. Cool somewhat to let set before serving.