I Wanted To See…

Once I had seen them… I couldn’t unsee them. Nor could I control myself… I thought about them constantly… 
I devised the plan from beginning to end in my head -days in advance. 
Then the moment arrived. 
Every detail I had calculated played out just as I had expected… 

My parents had left for the evening for a church meeting. My older sister was put in charge. Once the younger sisters were asleep, we were allowed to watch TV. I left to go to the “bathroom.” And that’s when my plan played out.

I found the scotch tape and a pair of scissors. I went into my parents’ closet, closing the door behind me. 
I meticulously began opening all of the Christmas presents, checking their contents, and carefully re-wrapping and re-taping them. I had officially ruined Christmas.
Or had I… The excitement over the next few days was even more powerful for me because I had seen what I had seen. I had no guilt or shame. -Only memories of delight in how I spent my evening.

As a kid- we hiked in the same state park twice a year. As much independence as my parents would allow- I’d sprint ahead through the tree-lined path. I did not find much beauty or peace in the dense portions surrounded by nature. 

I wanted to see…

Not just where the path would lead through the trees- but in life. 

Dad would only let me run ahead to a certain point and then I’d have to wait. I would move forward- trying to see what was next or get to a place where I felt less trapped by the compromised vision of what was ahead. 
Finally, Dad would let me sprint ahead to the top of the ridge. From that point, we had a view of where four states’ corners converged. I loved it. 
I felt big and small at the same time. I felt freed from the forest-y part of the hike where I strangely felt trapped. I could breathe deeply at the top in the open air and see for miles in every direction. 
It spoke so much to my personality. 

Fast forward 40 years-
Eight weeks ago I went on the same hike I did today. 
I don’t typically love to hike. Nevertheless, I’ve been doing it a lot lately because the gains are worth it. 

As I recently hiked the same path as a couple of months prior, I looked out over the view reaching dozens of miles to the north, west, and south. 
I was anchored on the east by a large mountain covered in beautiful late summer green foliage turning brilliantly beautiful colors of red, orange, and yellow. 
As I took time in the silence of my breathless steps, My question was simple- Do I know more…?
Last time I hiked this trail I had questions… lots of questions. 

In the solitude of my scenic surroundings, I presented my questions to God. 
I knew one moment one day at a time was my resolve prior to my questions, but oh how I wanted God’s lens to see a more distant future in my life. 

I needed this moment – the vitamin D as the sun seemed to be soaked up by every cell in my body. 
I needed peace and solitude. 
I knew God wasn’t going to show me the future. It would deny me the opportunity to exercise my faith as I chose a path working to hear Him, align my will with His, and work through and rise to the stumbles that would no doubt be part of my journey. 

God loves me too much to deny me those opportunities and experiences. 

I took a deep, thorough breath as I turned towards the final switchback. My final climb would be followed by a quick descent and it would send me back into the regular comings and goings of daily life.  My solitude with God and nature would be replaced by so many of His blessings woven throughout my life- as well as moments of doubt and question. It’s a great life. Even so, sometimes it feels noisy. The noise leaves me exhausted, confused, and frustrated. 

So I’ve learned to seek silence. I feel it in different ways and in different places. Sometimes God screams at me through the noise. But if I only heard Him during these times, I would miss out on so much that He wants to tell me and teach me about. 

I slow myself and my thoughts down often enough to get a temperature reading. 
As I work to live with God’s light and Spirit guiding me- He will bring ideas to my mind. 
I don’t always feel like it’s what I wish was my role- or what I had hoped He would have me do-

But I know the truths at these times-

My role is to align. 
Silence my complaints.
Open my heart. 
Choose to trust God, traveling into the unknown with Him. 
Work to see what God will show me and increasing faith for steps seemingly taken in the dark. 

I live my life knowing that God’s plan is filled with a parallel delight that I felt as I opened every Christmas gift.  Truly this life is a gift. Agency to navigate it is a gift. But the greatest gift is what’s next- for the believers…

I’m working to be numbered among them…

-JC

Oreo Cheesecake Krispy Treats

Oreo Cheesecake Base Layer

18oz package of Oreos
8oz. Cream cheese

Crush Oreos. Add softened cream cheese. Mix well. I prefer the food processor for both of these jobs. It takes less than a minute each.
Press Oreo mixture into bottom of parchment lined or greased 9 x 13 pan. Refrigerate.

Oreo Marshmallow Krispy Layer

4 Tablespoons butter
7 cups mini marshmallows
¼ teaspoon salt
7 oz. marshmallow creme
5 cups Rice Krispies
1 ½ cups mini Oreos or cut Oreo pieces

In a large microwave safe bowl, melt butter with marshmallows for 2 minutes.
Stir until smooth. Stir in salt.  Stir in marshmallow creme. Add Rice Krispies and Oreo Pieces.  Stir thoroughly until combined. Remove Oreo Cheesecake Base Layer from refrigerator and gently press Oreo Marshmallow Krispy Layer on top.  Spray hands with non-stick cooking spray. Use your hands to flatten and even out treats. Garnish with melted white candy discs and oreo crumbs as desired.
Let set. Share!