Cookies and Christ
Stories of Faith And Recipes
I’d Crack Open A Diet Coke…
After my oldest left for college, I would fall into bed every night hours earlier than when he was at home. I was finally able to get more sleep at night. My middle child- then oldest at home never needed help with homework or a pal to just sit with him while he pounded out a few chemistry problems. Our rule of “no TV on weekdays” (created to help the oldest child minimize distractions) was thrown out and we would often watch a college basketball game a few evenings a week. We would record the games and begin watching one around 8 pm after my daughter had gone to bed.
I would turn on the gas fireplace, grab a throw pillow and blanket from the sofa, and lay on the floor in front of the fireplace while I watched the tip-off.
There were many nights when I never saw the first made basket. I would nearly immediately fall asleep. I was exhausted- physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was trying to keep up with the kids in an ever-increasingly difficult world. I was trying to teach them, mentor them, set a good example for them, and love them. Every day I could easily see where I failed. I spent way too much time and energy with those self-depleting thoughts. I was exhausted. Perhaps, because I was worried about the outcome and would often forget to let go. I wanted so much to receive the peace promised in John 14:27- “my peace I give unto you…”
Rest is the opposite of exhaustion. It had very little to do with the number of hours of sleep I had. It’s a resource I needed to acquire.
I felt like I didn’t have the ability or patience to truly rest and acquire peace from God until I quit trying to see the distant scene. It was then that I realized the resources from God to claim peace were completely accessible and available to me. I felt blessed with a strong desire to exercise faith.
Therein was the avenue for peace- available to me every time I choose faith over knowledge.
It’s a blessing promised to me by God and I can simply choose to claim it or leave it.
I have to work hard to not lose sleep over my regrets as a mom raising kids in the everyday realm of -meals, school, laundry, driving, teaching- an exhaustive state. I’ve recently realized living with regret in areas where I fell short is worthless. I’m seriously working to be grateful for who I was 15 years ago. (It’s not easy…) I’m trying to remember the intentions, and efforts I made.
I worked hard every day.
I tried to do my duty to God, my community, and my family. I didn’t take days off of trying or reaching for the things I felt were important. I was doing the absolute best I could, given what I knew… I was diligent and vigilant. But I made lots of mistakes.
My best wasn’t then and isn’t now a remotely convincing version of perfection.
If I could visit myself as the mom I was 15 years ago, I’d show up just after she got her kids to school. The house would be quiet with morning sun streaming through the east-side windows. I’d walk in without knocking- because she loves those types of friends…
I’d find her in the kitchen sitting at the counter. Her scriptures would likely be open, but she’d be a bit dazed and unfocused on her studies. I’d crack open a Diet Coke with her and chat about the comings and goings of the kids, focusing on the joy in the journey. I know she was aware of and delighted in it. I’d give her a long reassuring hug. I’d let her know she’s ok…I’d thank her for not giving up, for believing and trusting in God. I’d encourage her to keep teaching her children about God’s perfect love and his generous promise of compensation for the faithful. I’d tell her that the most important work she’s doing is teaching her children to talk with God in prayer, believe in and trust Him. I’d tell her as a Daughter of God- she’s enough. I’d leave her home grateful for her and her efforts acknowledging she’s doing her best.
I absolutely would NOT focus on the places, times, and moments she falls short…Nor would I issue warnings and a series of instructions. She didn’t need that from me or anyone else. It’s not helpful. She was simply doing her best. And that is ALWAYS enough…
This directly translates to work I need to do today. I need to let go of the guilt, remorse, and shame of not showing up the way I wish I would have. I need to quit living in moments of regret for losing patience and being frustrated by my shortcomings and exhaustion.
In doing so, I’m grateful I’m working today to chase down and gain more resources. I’m grateful my best looks different today…
I’m grateful I know better how to rest and how imperative it is for happiness. I’m utilizing, growing, and increasing my ability and wisdom to gain resources that result in confidence, happiness, and peace- in, through, and because of Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ.
The results?
So far- I not only see the first made basket, but also the postgame recap…
I also see what and where God needs me more clearly and so much of that story that is yet to unfold…
-JC
(Easy) Peppermint Fudge Brownies
Brownie Layer
1 18 oz. pre-packaged brownie mix without chocolate chunks (I prefer Dark Chocolate Duncan Hines)
2 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 Tablespoons dark cocoa
1 egg + 1 egg yolk
3 Tablespoons sour cream
⅓ cup vegetable oil
⅓ cup whole milk
1 teaspoon peppermint extract
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix together brownie mix with the rest of the ingredients. Mix on medium speed just until blended. Don’t over-mix. (This combination will result in a fudgey semi-soft brownie. If you prefer the chewier version of a brownie- use brownie mix as outlined on the box.) Spread brownie mixture evenly over parchment paper lined or baking sprayed 11” x 7” pan (If 9 x 13” is all you have, decrease baking time.). Bake at 350 degrees for 28 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool completely. Frost with Peppermint Fudge Frosting. Garnish as desired. (I drizzled with white melting candy discs and crushed candy cane.)
Let set. Share.
Peppermint Fudge Frosting
½ cup whole milk
1 ½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
Dash of salt
Melt chocolate chips into milk in microwave. Add peppermint extract and salt; stir until smooth. Transfer into freezer strength Ziploc. Let cool until room temperature.
Cookies and Christ 
Thank you for sharing your need to and desire to accept your were and are a good, loving mother. I needed to hear this. Thank you again.
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