I’m trying to be Christlike and it’s hard.

A new friend voiced an observation to me – about me -that pierced my heart.
I had sought out a friendly pickleball game like I did most mornings this past summer. I was grateful this group let me into theirs- to share time laughter and friendship on the courts. As we were packing up to leave one morning after a few hours of play, I was voicing concern about being frustrated with getting my serves in play, consistently. I felt like I had already mastered this part of the game, and seemingly without warning, my techniques and muscle memory had stopped working.
Listening to me bemoan my troubles, my new friend quickly replied “ Wow! You’re so hard on yourself…”
Her assessment stunned me. Those were not words I wanted to be said about me. I have spent so much time working over the past few years to try and master grace for myself so that I could have a legacy of extending it to others freely. I’ve worked tirelessly to understand grace through the eyes of my Savior, as He extends it to me. I’ve been working to mirror His discipleship by extending it to myself, and therefore, seeing that it becomes extremely easy to offer to any and all whom I have the opportunity to cross paths with.
Knowing all of this isn’t the same as doing all of this. I thought I was doing kinda, sorta okay –
I found out on the pickleball courts as I packed my bag to leave, that there was no mastery at all. There was only weakness.
In short- I’m trying to be Christlike and it’s hard. 😉
I left for a trip out of town for my niece’s wedding determined to figure out how to let go and return to a place of grace.
During my week away, I began by hiring the most beautiful, brilliant, strong, wise, and talented pickleball coach I could find- my daughter.
She was tough but loving as she instructed me to stop relying on muscle memory. It was why I was missing my serve so often. She told me to begin anew by being deliberate with technique, slowing down, and taking my time. We met each morning at 7 a.m. before she went to one of her other two jobs to walk me through good form and function in improving this pivotal part of my game. Every morning I would serve hundreds of balls, resulting in a slight improvement and an extremely sore arm.
More importantly that week, I looked into my soul trying to figure out why extending grace to myself had become increasingly difficult despite all of the committed work I had done, and notable progress.
I tracked it back to some potential mental muscle memory.
I had moved back to the town where I raised my kids. It was my 7th move in 9 3/4 years. I felt a bit nostalgic as I returned to a place that felt so much like home for so many years. Unfortunately, I picked up old habits. I was working so hard trying to get my new gig “right”. I was trying too hard on my own- to the fault of failing to recognize that faltering and falling was going to be a huge part of this chapter.
Equally though, I was being blessed with energy and ideas beyond my own to help make it right when I couldn’t get it right on my own. God was trying to help me, but I kept getting in the way.
It centered around being deliberate with tireless energy and focus on trying not to fall down and more effort on getting back up by taking my Savior’s outstretched hand.
My niece’s wedding week was filled with cherished memories including dancing with Dad and my sisters at her reception. These moments are fleeting. I’m always grateful as I near the season of my parents’ birthdays that I’m blessed to have another year of celebrating with them.
I also took from my week away- an adjustment to my pickleball serve which – with continued practice – is changing the trajectory of my game.
Likewise- I’ve centered on renewed energy to return to a life of grace- receiving it from Christ and working to anchor my life around it.
Daily (even multiple times daily), I’ve talked openly with God about all of this-
Frustrations, joys, cherished memories, gratitude for help in pickleball and life and so many details in between.
I know He hears me.
I know He wants me to talk it all over with Him and then listen as He lets me know that many blessings come now, some will come later, and some will wait until heaven-
But-
His love and timing in all of it are exactly what I need.

-JC

(The Best Ever) Rice Krispy Treats

6 Tablespoons butter
10 ½ cups (16 oz.) mini marshmallows
½ teaspoon salt
10 oz. marshmallow creme
9 ½ cups Rice Krispies
1 ½ cups (additional) mini marshmallows

In a large microwave safe bowl, melt butter with marshmallows for 1-2 minutes.
Stir in salt.  Stir in marshmallow creme. Stir until smooth. Add Rice Krispies.  Fold over thoroughly until combined. Stir in remaining marshmallows. Pour into a greased 9 x 13 pan. Spray hands with non-stick cooking spray. Use your hands to flatten and even out treats.
Let set. Share!