I Didn’t Want To Be The Weak Link

I sat at my table with morning light streaming through my windows.
My buttered toast had a perfect exterior crunch with a soft center.
I finished my Diet Coke, read a scriptural message, and stared out my window.
My prayer was simple-
“There’s so much hurt and hardship in this world.
What can I do to help…?”

I’d been pretty hard on myself lately – not keeping up with grace, weaning faith, and energy to go and do.
But on this day- I felt better and a bit more resolved that perhaps somewhere in my small corner of the world God could use my simple efforts to help lift another.
I knew what would come next…

A memory flooded my mind of my elementary classmates sitting uncomfortably in a circle, legs crossed, inches away from each other.
Well- I was uncomfortable. Many seemed just fine.
The teacher issued the instructions as she sat with us.
She would begin the activity by whispering a phrase into the classmate’s ear who was sitting next to her.
That classmate was to whisper the same message to the kid next to him and such would continue around the circle.
I was miserably uncomfortable from the beginning and whether real or imagined, the message whispered in my ear seemed to come with too much heat and spit that I couldn’t focus.
I didn’t want to be the weak link in the circle and didn’t think fast enough to realize no one would know where the message went awry.
My palms were sweaty as I tried to interpret the something “whispered” in my ear, guessing a bit while quickly passing it along, then relieved my turn was over.

The message no longer mattered.
I was so worried about receiving it correctly and sharing it the right way- I let my attempt be hurdled by my concerns.
It was time to rewrite that story.

Today, I knew what would come next-
It would be absolutely nothing demonstrative.
It would be the quietest, simplest thought….
And I would need to worry less if I understood it perfectly, or if I would go and do it just the right way…
I needed to lean in and listen to the whisper as best I could.
That’s how God would let me know how I could help.

As I looked out my window noting the beauty of the cloud formations strewn across a blue background, I knew I needed to work harder to listen.
I knew I needed to act on thoughts I’d had when I’d felt no energy to do so.
God’s never told me to fly across the country, put on a yellow vest, and help in hurricane relief.
I think He wants me in my neighborhood, lifting where I stand, with whatever strength I can claim.
If I rise to that call- He will likely bless me with another whispered thought.

I’m needing to silence the worthless noise, focus less on my weaknesses, and simply Hear Him.
I know how it plays out.
The thoughts don’t usually come as I stare out the morning window.
I get busy with my daily tasks. As I’m here and there (mentally and physically) there are people I can reach out to. It’s usually when I’m in a hurry, hungry, or feeling tired. NOT in the energy of a new day. Thus, I have to work a bit harder to identify God’s voice.

so

So I’ll try today, and again tomorrow to do it better, and in all of it, I’ll be grateful for the message from God and it’s delivery. No heat, no spit nor sputter- just gentleness and kindness.

-JC

Frosted Snickerdoodles

Snickerdoodles
1 cup soft butter
¼ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup sour cream
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
1 ¼ cups powdered sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt

Cream butter, oil, sour cream and sugars with an electric mixer on medium-high for 1 minute or until fluffy. Hand stir in eggs and vanilla; don’t over-mix. Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Scoop out approximately 24+ 2” balls of dough. Gently roll into Cinnamon-Sugar Mixture. For a richer flavor and smoother texture, form cookie dough balls, flatten slightly and refrigerate or freeze until ready to bake. Place on greased or parchment paper on an aluminum cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 13+ min. Let cool completely. Frost with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting.
Let set.
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Cinnamon-Sugar Mixture
2 Tablespoons granulated sugar
2 Tablespoons powdered sugar
2 Tablespoons ground cinnamon
Toss together. 

Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting
8 ounces softened cream cheese
½  cup soft butter
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 Tablespoons whipping cream
3 cups powdered sugar
Dash of salt

Mix cream cheese and butter until smooth. Stir in cinnamon. Add vanilla extract, whipping cream, powdered sugar, and salt. Mix until fluffy.