I’d be cold and hungry within an hour likely wondering where all of that bravery and neglect for reality came from-

I was raised in a rodeo town: Sidney, Iowa: Home of the championship rodeo. I’m pretty sure it says such on a sign as you enter the town. 
Each year we would watch the rodeo complete with queen contestants, barrel racing, calf roping and bull riding. 
As a kid, I never had the opportunity to learn to ride horses, despite living in a rodeo town where horse trailers had their own parking lot.
Yet- every August, during rodeo week, I’d watch in amazement as those who did ride as they made their years of efforts and discipline look easy. 

Throughout the ages, stories and movies often capture a hero mounted upon a strong horse united in cause to save a kingdom. 
I was reminded of one movie in particular a few weeks ago. 
I was chatting with my new neighbor and her daughters. This is our 8th house in 12 years.
The best part about moving often is meeting new people. I love hearing about their stories and journeys through faith. 

This young teenager has an impressive story. 
We likened her experiences and summed them up into a storyline and hit song from Frozen-
“Into the Unknown”
It was easy for me to show up strong in applauding her story. I told her that “I’ve come to know that ‘into the unknown’ is where all of the opportunities and blessings I don’t even know about exist and therefore the unknown is an amazing place to go…”

And today I think-

“As long as someone else is supposed to go there…”
The unknown is causing me a bit of grief these days. 
My faith in the unknown and all of the blessings is feeling a bit cloudy. 
Not like -I’m going to give up and preach against God type of cloudy…

Just –
-I was hoping for sun but it’s cloudy-
type of cloudy…

There have been seasons where I could jump on a running horse in stride with my unwavering faith-filled courage and charge into the unknown. 

Yes-
I’d be cold and hungry within an hour likely wondering where all of that bravery and neglect for reality came from-
But- I could grab my trident, jump on the horse, and charge! 

Today-
My ability to do so feels more like one of my first times on a horse. 
My husband was raised with horses. But he never rode nor had much interest in them. He would classify the reason as preference- not fear.
After we finished college and moved to Washington near my in-laws, I was eager to learn how to ride.
I envisioned the end result would mimic the natural ability of the rodeo queens that I remembered from childhood.

My father-in-law gave me a few lessons of sorts in his training coral.
I was absolutely NOT a natural rider. But I mechanically worked to loosely grasp the reins, move with the horse versus against it, and use my legs to not only “hold on”, but also guide the horse. 

I was deemed ready to exit the coral and enter the pasture.
Within seconds I was on the ground watching the horse slowly WALK away.
I have no idea what actually happened in the pasture. I asked my husband who was poised to take a picture from his perch on the hay stack if I got bucked off. He failed in his attempt to stop laughing and simply shook his head “No.”

I couldn’t grab my trident and jump on a horse with a heroic pace and charge the unknown…
My horse simply wandered away and I couldn’t even hold onto that…
That’s the energy I’m feeling about going into the unknown lately.

Change is in the air. (When isn’t it?)
I’d love to just be given the timeline and task list.
That’s not how God works. 

So here I am living on repeat. 
I want to follow God’s will…
But I’m lacking the mental energy to hold on.
I don’t feel it to be a crossroads of faith.
Even writing it out- it’s easy to sort through and see clearer skies. 

Perhaps today’s prayer is simply to ask for energy to go and do when I’m called by God to pivot and walk in faith. 
Gratefully, no heroics are needed from me. I can simply rely on the power, confidence, and clarity available to me as I chart a sometimes cloudy, sometimes ‘falling’- path through discipleship. 

-JC

Reese’s Peanut Butter Popcorn

16 oz. Chocolate melting discs
½ cup peanut butter
—
18 cups popped popcorn (I use pre-packaged kettle corn)
16+ mini Reese’s peanut butter cups, cut into pieces. 

Melt chocolate melting discs with peanut butter. Stir until smooth. Toss the chocolate mixture with popcorn in a large bowl. Gently fold until evenly coated. Pour out onto a large sheet of parchment paper. Sprinkle with Reese’s peanut butter cups.
Let set. Share!