My Earliest Memory

My earliest memory as a child has virtually no sound. Recalling it seems like a slow-motion rendering of a moment in time.
However, it’s completely vivid: 
The colors surrounding me, or lack thereof…
The silence…
The helplessness…
And yet the complete feeling of peace….
And then, in an instant, without resolution, the memory is over. I have no recollection of what happened next. Or who came to my aid…

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I asked my mom about it. For most of my life, I assumed it was a hard exhausting day of parenting… or an innocent moment of distraction.  

In times of reflection, I discern my life to be filled tender mercies from God and angels- seen and unseen- who’ve helped me along my way. As I began to ponder more on my first memory I wanted a level of clarity. Did God intervene?

In a non-judgemental moment filled with curiosity and courage, I finally asked my Mom about the day I nearly drowned. 

She had no recollection of any such event. I told her I thought I was about three years old; though not completely certain. I told her I thought we lived in the apartments in Omaha, Nebraska.  
I told her my memory of the event is simple…
I’m in the water…
I’m falling…
Slowly… 
My eyes are open…  
I see the water around me, other people- but none of them close by…
I see the edge of the pool- too far away for me to reach…
I’m nearing the bottom of the pool…
And that’s it…
In the blink of an eye, it’s the end of my memory of the event. 

My mom explained to me that when we lived in those apartments she would often hire a babysitter to watch my sister, Debbie, and me while she ran errands with the baby. She said the babysitter would often take us down to the pool to go swimming. The babysitter had never told her of any near-tragedy…

Since asking my mom about this event a few years ago I’ve continued to give it much pondering and thought. Experts say the earliest memory you have as a child is often a tragedy or great triumph. So, which one best describes this event in my own life? 
I continue to have many unanswered questions. Primarily, who saved me? And why didn’t I die in an accident that day?
I completely believe in life after death. I believe that our journey on this earth is only a small portion of who we are and the existence of life. I believe life began before we were born and continues after we die. So, why was I granted more time on this earth instead of finishing my progression into a spiritual realm? 

As a Spirit in a pre-mortal place and time, I believe I fought for the opportunity to come to earth. Perhaps there was more I needed to do in learning and growing during my mortal state in proving to God that I’m still willing to fight to return to Him…
Perhaps I needed to pass through difficulty, confusion, frustration, and triumph in faith to come to know my Savior and choose to embrace His help on my journey home…

And so I’m still here- experiencing “life”.
I recognize the power of the gift of agency and the impact of my daily choices in determining the course of my life. I also recognize the power of the gift of a family. I believe it’s by God’s design that we are blessed to be a part of a family. It helps us better understand God as our Father in Heaven, and our Brother, who is our greatest advocate, even our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I now recognize that in a moment of despair, with no ability to change my own course, an angel- seen or unseen- stepped in. 
The rest of the story is up to me. 
Will I continue to fight as hard in this earthly journey as I did when the war raged in the pre-mortal realm? 
Will I work to return to my heavenly home and serve God in helping others to come unto Christ as I strive to do the same?
As for today… 
I commit to try…

-JC

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar
6 T vegetable oil 
2 eggs
1 ½ cups canned pumpkin puree
2 ⅓ cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 cup mini chocolate chips

Mix sugars with oil on high speed for 30-60 seconds. Stir in eggs and pumpkin puree. Add dry ingredients all at once and stir until well combined. Stir in chocolate chips.
Scoop out 24  -2” balls of dough onto cookie sheets lined with parchment paper. Bake at 375 degrees for 14-16 minutes. Garnish with icing and mini chocolate chips if desired. Let set. Share!