Cookies and Christ
Stories of Faith And Recipes
I lost a bit of faith in myself –
“…Be not afraid, only believe.”
Mark 5:36
I slipped out the back door of the old house where we went to church.
It didn’t have a large parking lot nor a steeple…
It was simply an old house. There were chairs set up in rows, a podium, and bedrooms upstairs set up as classrooms.
It’s the place our family came each Sunday to worship and learn of Christ. We returned mid-week for children’s classes. It was there that I was taught of baptism and confirmation, and given the gift of the Holy Ghost. I understood this gift to be a power to know things, a direct link with God, even the automatic answer to my prayer that I desperately sought that day.
I received a present following my baptism and confirmation- a pretty necklace.
As quickly as I received it-
I had lost it.
A few of my sisters and I had been in the backyard playing and upon returning inside I noticed my necklace was missing. I prayed for help in finding it and returned outside to a large yard of thick long grass. I tried to retrace my steps and steady my gaze hoping the sun would reflect off of the shiny necklace divulging its secret hiding place. I prayed and prayed and prayed as I walked in tiny rows back and forth across the lawn.
After a while- Mom called me inside. It was time to go home. I somberly went inside and gathered with my sisters, then climbed into the family station wagon.
I wondered in sadness what I had done wrong. I had prayed for help and thought for sure the Holy Ghost was supposed to tell me where my necklace was.
It didn’t work.
I didn’t lose faith or belief in God or the Holy Ghost… But rather I lost a bit of faith in myself- in my ability to feel “it”… to make “it” work right.
As I look back- that belief system was a stumbling block that would grow bigger as I got older and my problems got tougher. I didn’t realize then that the problem wasn’t me – that God didn’t create me worse than others- incapable of feeling His Spirit, or with an inability to pray the right way. However, I thought the problem WAS me… that I was just plain wrong…
Oh, how I wish I could go walk with that girl in her tiny methodical lines in the backyard of the “church.”
I wish I could take her by the hand and look straight into her bright blue eyes and tell her she’s perfect just the way she is.
I wish I could tell her that there aren’t always obvious reasons for seemingly unanswered prayers but it doesn’t mean we did it wrong or that prayer doesn’t work.
I wish I could tell her to take her selfless, faith-filled angel mother by the hand and ask for help…
I would certainly hold her tight and beg her to keep trying, keep trusting, and keep believing.
Perhaps I was blessed by angelic urging that day to not quit on faith- in all unseen ways. The path forward was bumpy and ugly at times, but over 40 years later-
I understand that fear of failing in God’s ways never truly wins.
I need “only believe…”
-JC
Pretzel and Fudge Chocolate Sugar Cookies
1 cup soft butter
½ cup vegetable oil
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
1 ¼ cups powdered sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup cocoa powder
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
4 oz. pretzels, broken or cut into small pieces
Cream butter, oil and sugars with an electric mixer on medium-high for 1 minute or until well blended. Hand stir in eggs and vanilla extract; don’t over-mix. Add dry ingredients all at once and mix until fully incorporated. Add 2-3 Tablespoons more flour for high elevation. Scoop out approximately 24+ 2” balls of dough. Roll slightly and press into broken pretzel pieces. Place on greased or parchment paper on an aluminum cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 10+ minutes.
Let cool slightly. Top with Fudge Frosting. Sprinkle with Sea Salt.
Let set. Share!
Fudge Frosting
3/4 cup whole milk
2 1/4 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 teaspoon vanilla extract Dash of salt Melt chocolate chips into milk in the microwave. Add vanilla extract and salt; stir until smooth. Let cool until room temperature.
Cookies and Christ 
I have had that kind of experience looking for things as well. Then I have the other kind of experience where we find what we are looking for. It is hard to know how to categorize the first….
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