“Hands, Hands, Fingers, Thumbs…”

Hands, hands, fingers, thumbs” I said to my granddaughter.
She knew the routine.
We were crossing a street and despite her quest for independence, she knew this was a moment of required compliance.

She grabbed my hand as the promise of Chik Fil A mac and cheese was deemed worthy of relenting her independence for a moment.
We ate, she played and I got worn out watching her.
We returned to the parking lot.
“Hands, hands, fingers, thumbs” was quickly met with a cute small hand grasping for my wrinkled, yet steady one.

As we drove away we repeatedly chanted “Hands, hands, fingers, thumbs! Many more monkeys drumming on drums.” She didn’t know the reference.
My mind turned back to the days turning into weeks when I had memorized the Dr. Seuss book.
I was placed on partial bed rest at the end of my pregnancy with our second son. Bren, my oldest, was a toddler.
Our small apartment proved to make keeping an eye on him while I rested an easy task. 600 sq ft with a few childproof doors kept him close by.
He often saw my comfy spot on the sofa as an invitation to bring me some books and have an impromptu read-a-thon. We owned 8 books.
It was a “cancel anytime” introductory offer for a book club. I canceled after I received my first 8 books for less than $2.
I couldn’t afford the monthly membership fee to keep receiving books each month- so we had our complete library of 8 on the TV stand.
I read each of them multiple times a day quickly memorizing their sing-song rhymes.

It was a season of life plagued by loneliness.
Since then, that feeling has been occasionally magnified again and again in some unexpected ways.
I’m an extrovert. I have conversations with nearly everyone I meet- even in the check-out line at the store. I thrive on simple or in-depth conversations.
However, I’ve learned there are times, places, and seasons where loneliness is part of my journey.
I long for connection.

A few years ago if you would have asked me what a lonely girl looks like- I would have described her as one who sits in solitude in a dimly lit room.
Not a physical description- but more of a mental one.

I understand it better now.

In certain seasons, I know myself as a lonely lady – she is often super busy.
She has been blessed with a beautiful family and the opportunity to see them often. She has friends, neighbors, and acquaintances who accompany her through countless joy-filled days.
She has ideas, goals, dreams, and an ambitious drive to pursue them.
She would say she has been deeply blessed.
She knows the source of these blessings, endless more, and the perfect love of her Creator, a loving God, her eternal Father in Heaven.

And yet she acknowledges her loneliness.

As I see that girl in a quiet room, my lens changes, adjusts, and improves…as I scan out.

I see hosts of Angels fulfilling the promise that “they that be with us are more than they that be with them.”
I see a loving Heavenly Father standing in watch, extending His hand- pointing to and instructing our Savior Jesus Christ to come and be with her…
…to come and be with me.

And He will come and be with you.

We are only as alone in our loneliness as we allow ourselves to distance ourselves from God.
Connection to Him cures it.
My connection to Him is deliberate and eternal as I work to better understand who I am.
I am His daughter.
I belong to Him.

Feelings of loneliness are a cyclic part of my story, but I better understand how to see these feelings, and thus seek connection from God to understand their place and purpose.

These blessings and privileges are mine to claim as a daughter of God.
It’s through this process of seeking connection that I better understand God and my Savior -who often walked a seemingly lonely path in discipleship.

Who am I?
I’m a daughter of God.
He sees me, all of me, and loves me perfectly accordingly.
Through Him and because of Him, I understand connection to Him is always mine to claim through verbal and silent prayers.

As I do my part to tell my Heavenly Father the truth about how I’m doing, thinking and feeling, seeking his wisdom, I work through the struggle and realize simple blessings granted to me- just for trying…

Simple blessings-
Like a car ride coupled with an energetic toddler with a quest for discovery and an untiring desire to chant “Hands, hands, fingers, thumbs…” simply because Gramma is doing it. ❤️

-JC

S’mores Krispy Treats

6 Tablespoons butter
16 oz. mini marshmallows
½ teaspoon salt
10 oz. marshmallow fluff
6 cups crisp rice cereal
8 cups Golden Grahams cereal
2+ cups milk chocolate chips

Melt butter and mini marshmallows mixed with salt in a large bowl in the microwave. (Approximately 1 minute.) Stir in the marshmallow fluff until smooth. Stir in rice cereal and Golden Grahams cereal. Fold in chocolate chips.
Press mixture into a greased/parchment lined 9 x 13 pan. 
Garnish with graham cereal, toasted marshmallows and Hershey bar pieces.